Back in April, I decided to be a good parent and volunteer to chaperone my daughter’s 8th grade class to Disney World. I know, I can hear you saying “What the hell were you thinking?” Honestly, I thought it would be a great way for my daughter and I to connect, as well as a fun getaway to the most magical place on earth. Yeah, it was a lot of things but not sure if “magical” is at the top of the list.
We visited Epcot, Animal Kingdom and Magic Kingdom.
If you want to ride any rides at a Disney Park, you better arrive early or you will be standing in a magical 2-hour line!!!
Epcot was like a throwback to the 80s. It reminded me of Michael Jackson and that infamous Pepsi commercial (a moment in black history, google it). It’s divided into two sections: FutureWorld and World Showcase.
FutureWorld honestly looked like something from the past. It showcased cartoonish technology, it was like watching the Jetsons. For real for real, I need Disney to update FutureWorld to possibly use technology from 2016, at least. It was like the future stopped back in 1990. Just a weird little area to me.
The World Showcase was a cute part of the park. World Showcase features 11 different nations. There are restaurants, shows, exhibitions, and people dressed to represent their nation. Like I said, it was cute.
Elsa and Anna, Belle, Mulan, Donald Duck, Jasmine and Mary Poppins were all around the park. In order to get a picture with them, you had to wait in long ass lines and then pay a nice price for said picture. Um yeah…I’m straight on that one, so no pics for me.
Epcot had a few, and I do mean a few, small rides but this is not the park that you come to for excitement. It’s more like a chill little park that educates and entertains the little ones.
Welcome to a kingdom of animals… real, ancient and imagined: a kingdom ruled by lions, dinosaurs and dragons; a kingdom of balance, harmony and survival; a kingdom we enter to share in the wonder, gaze at the beauty, thrill at the drama, and learn.
— Michael D. Eisner, April 22, 1998
Animal Kingdom was fun. The park is dedicated to animal conservation and saving the environment. They had flamingos, elephants, butterflies, giraffes, gorillas, hippos, they had a lot of damn animals and I enjoyed every minute of it! There were guides who educated the kids on the animals, talked about their habitat, how they survive in the wild and how they are trying to save some of the animals from extinction. Yes, I’m a nerd and I like that type of ish!
The rides were decent. They have Expedition Everest, which is their big roller coaster, and a few rides with small drops, some spinning rides and a water ride. Nothing for you thrill seekers, but just enough to make you feel like you’re at an amusement park. The kids also got a chance to do a safari ride that put them up close and personal with some of the wildlife. All in all, it was a solid park.
Drum roll, please…
Magic Kingdom is where you get to see all your childhood fantasies come true! It consists of six lands: Fantasyland, Main Street USA, Adventureland, Frontierland, Liberty Square and Tomorrowland. I was excited for this visit. It ain’t every day that you get to see Sleeping Beauty’s castle, okkk!
Our first stop was Tomorrowland. Not gonna waste much time on this one. Even though Tomorrowland is supposed to be about new technological advances, it was stuck in the past, just like Epcot.
It did feature Buzz Lightyear, but still nothing too exciting. Next up was Adventureland.
This “land” is supposed to represent Africa, South America and the South Pacific by giving us a taste of the remote jungles in Asia and Africa. There were tribal masks, conga drums, and totem poles. Is it just me or is that a bit offensive? No? Just me? Ok, moving on. Adventureland had some decent attractions but their big seller is the Pirates of the Caribbean roller coaster. The kids thought it was meh.
Liberty Square and Main Street were cute. No thrill rides but nice shops and guys dressed up like they were in a barber shop quartet. Mickey and Minnie floated around, but once again, you had to stand in line to get a pic with them.
Fantasyland was the place to be! There was Alice in Wonderland, Dumbo, Peter Pan, Pinocchio, Snow White and Sleeping Beauty. It was all your childhood Disney favorites in real life! Yes, I got caught up for a minute. LOL! Lots of gentle rides, no real thrills but just being around those characters stirred up some nostalgia.
At night, they lit up the castle and gave the show of shows! The show was projected on to Sleeping Beauty’s castle. They showed excerpts of some of your favorite Disney movies and I bout lost my mind when they showed Fantasia. Fantasia, is by far, my favorite Disney movie. If you haven’t seen it, do yourself a favor and watch it, preferably with some herbals, and get your damn life!
Now, would I go back to Disney World? Probably not. It wasn’t a bad set of amusement parks and it’s something to check off the bucket list, but I live in the real world. It reeked of capitalism and that turned me off. Every time you got off a ride, you had to walk through a souvenir shop. Yes, every ride had a damn souvenir shop nearby! The food was basic AF, but you paid $20 for some damn chicken fingers because you were hungry!! See, I just got triggered, I need to go meditate.
Listen, I did it and had some fun and some frustration (remember I was one of ten chaperones that took a hundred kids to Disney), but once was enough for me. Have you gone? What did you think?
Oh and you die hard Disney folks, don’t come for me.
Until next time…TTYL!